What Can This Dream Possibly Mean?

Really, I want an answer on this one, cos I'm clueless. Before I regale you with it, I will say that it is a repeat offender to my subconscious and I haven't played either of the games mentioned for years.

So, the setting has a 'Red Alert'/'GTA 2' appearance - dubious graphics and a top down viewpoint. I'm escorting someone through the streets of a city, when suddenly they are attacked. I step up and do my job, defence, and drive the attackers away. Then the cops come after me. The person I'm escorting does a runner and I'm on my own. I scarper. Through some dodgy looking alleyways, I escape the fuzz. Then the 'Red Alert' aspect comes in. I'm now getting pursued by tanks. And it's not even the Commies, it's the damn Allies! I head for the sea and dive in, foolishly thinking I'm safe. Suddenly the water is full of Allied Cruisers and they're shooting away. I swim like a boy being chased by sharky sharky, and it's going well. I get to this huge wall, find stairs and get to the other side where it looks like open ocean, no sign of pursuit. But no! What can only be described as a garbage scow is heading straight for me. It's absurdly fast and agile and despite my best efforts, it rams me into the wall, splat. Claret everywhere, and I'm dead. Game over.

WTF?!

Why Can't Helium Balloons Last Forever?

There is NOTHING sadder in this world than a Helium balloon that's run out of juice. A downbeat puppy? Not as sad. A wet kitty? Not as sad. Because they have the prospect of rejuvenation, a helium balloon past it's sell by is done for.

Why am I talking about helium balloons? Because about 2 weeks ago, we rescued one from a multi-storey car park, and today is the day that it's sorry ass is on the floor :(

It did well, 2 weeks is a lot longer than I ever remember a helium balloon lasting before, but still, it's sad.

So here's to you Reginald! May your balloon afterlife be all that you expected and hoped for. Not yet though, now you don't float properly I can play keepy uppy without cheating...

What Happened To All The Good Children's TV?

When I was a boy, TV shows were great. Not only entertaining, but educational too. I was mostly in it for the entertainment of course, but looking back and comparing those shows to the drivel on today raises a fairly stark contrast.

People complain about TV being bad for kids, but if you make good stuff and put it on, it can be a benefit too. Look at shows like Willy Fog, Ulysses and Cities Of Gold. Outstanding stuff, and also teach a degree of history, science and geography to youngsters.

What's on nowadays? Dick and Dom, The Chuckle Brothers, Arthur? All crap. Brain numbing and boring to boot.

Maybe in this case, it's English made shows seriously sucking ass, cos if memory serves, all the above beacons of children's TV were made in Europe.

I think I'll get all the good old shows on DVD on the off chance I ever have kids. Hopefully by that time the Chuckle Brothers'll be gone...

Why Don't You Stay There!?

I'm outraged by sheer idiocy!

About 99% of people trying to get on the Northern Line out of Kings Cross today at about 1215 should be rounded up and shot.

Why gather in large groups in the only open entrance? Why? There was SO MUCH room all along the damn platform.

I can't even blame commuters cos it's Saturday. So instead I'm gonna blame tourists and this, the worst and stupidest day ever invented by people who want cash. "It's V-Day, let's go to Paris." Yeah, it's gonna be REAL romantic with hundreds of thousands of prats like you wondering about.

DON'T COME BACK!

How Stupid Can You Be?

Your common, run of the mill thief is very probably an opportunistic idiot.

I base this mostly on an encounter on Saturday, in which a large (wide) dude attempted to steal my flatmates car from in front of our house. On a well lit corner, on a main road, in front of a house where the lights were on.

He compounded his idiocy by attempting to gain access via the passenger door, which was MUCH clearer to see from all angles. Including from the window from which I spied him.

Kudos.