Karma. It's A Load Of Rubbish Isn't It?

This one's been coming a while. A week in fact.

Karma is rubbish. Evidence - I have helped about two dozen strangers carry stuff to and from the subway in the last three months, mostly baby carriers. Thus, Karma says that when I am carrying two heavy suitcases across the city, some random stranger will come to my assistance...

What's With The Snow?

"It never snows in England." - to quote me last week.

"What's with the snow?" - to quote me, in England, yesterday.

Apparently it's not even the first snow of the year either. So what's going on? Is it a slow motion version of 'The Day After Tomorrow'?

Anyway, I'm back online after a brief absense, change of country, but I'll still be complaining. In fact, probably more than ever...

Are All Ginger Men Stupid?

Well, so far on this blog, I think I've managed to "out" myself as an Arsenal fan, a Jayhawk fan and I'm sure I've alluded to the fact that I'm a Democrat enough times for you to guess for yourselves. But this one is potentially disastrous for my reputation. I have red hair!

They are our cowards, our clowns and our idiot kids. They are our eccentrics, our insane and our bamboozled.

From Chuckie [Rugrats] to Ron Weasley [both of whom had family members that shared the ginger curse] and from the cable idiot from the Verizon ad's to the stupid Stanley Steemer kid, almost every ginger male on TV is useless.

The "positive" ginger men on TV? That guy from CSI Miami? Errr... The dude from Band of Brothers and Life. Does that about cover it. And having never watched CSI Miami, he could be a douche too for all I know.

I've seen the ginger kids episode of South Park. It's absolutely hilarious. So don't take this completely like I have no sense of humor. Because if you can't laugh at yourself then what's the point?

But in all seriousness. If every Black or Hispanic man on TV was an idiot, would that be cool?

How Could You Nebraska?

First of all, let me assure you, this is the last post about the election. I swear!

There's still no election result from Missouri. Errrr...

Having said that, it looks highly unlikely that the result will be anything other than a McCain win there. Truthfully, the point of this blog is to complain about Nebraska.

Damn you Nebraska!

That ONE electoral vote going to Obama in Nebraska has spoiled my election prediction. How could you Nebraska? And you had to beat my Jayhawks too? That's not on. Not at all.

Don't You Hate Coin Tosses In Sport?

I do. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of the Patriots losing. Nothing in football is better. But having a sudden death overtime where a coin toss decides who has possession is kind of ridiculous.

Unfortunately, it's not the only sport in which coin tosses can make a big impact. In cricket, coin tosses can have a huge impact with preferable weather and pitch conditions.

The question is, what do you replace them with. I know nothing about the history of the NFL, has it always been this way? Would it not just be better to play another period of the game without sudden death? And in cricket, someones gotta go first. I guess in the end it comes down to the fact that life's not fair, so get on with it.

How Many Years Of Bad Luck?

OK. So if you break a mirror, that's 7 years bad luck.

A cat year is worth 7 human years.

So if a kitty breaks a mirror, does it get 7 years bad luck or 1 year bad luck, in human time?

Also, the cat get's the bad luck right? It doesn't transfer onto the owner or anything... right?

Can You Stop Making Me Feel So Old?

Well, it's official, I'm old. 25 and a half. The football (soccer) team I support (Arsenal) fielded a side with an average age below 19 last night. 19! There was a guy in the team who was 16. 16! And they won too.

At this point 9 years ago, what was I doing? Getting my braces removed maybe. Participating in a game of high school cricket perhaps. Wondering why girls didn't like me [it was the hair, and the personality and many other things including a complete lack of cool]. But in all probability I was playing football at the park and scoring many a goal against my friends.

And the high point of my footballing life came between the ages of 18 and 21 at uni. Scoring a goal in the cup final in front of about 100 people. This 16 year-old just played in front of 60,000 and was awesome. Born in the 90's. THE 90'S!!! I remember ALL of the 90's.

Bloody hell, imagine how old I'll feel in 10 or 20 years time! It's too much! Stop making me feel so old!

When Can I Have The Hiccups Again?

It's been years. I think perhaps an entire decade has passed, during which time the world has changed profoundly (sarcasm). Elections have been "won", countries have been formed, sporting events of ridiculousness have occurred, but no hiccups.

Is it strange to not get hiccups for that whole time? I've looked into the causes of hiccups, and I have ticked almost every box from time to time! Especially spicy food and alcohol.

Is it weird that I want the hiccups? Perhaps, but when I was a kid I remember thinking it was fun to have them, so when can I have the hiccups again?

Why Can't Shops Be More Like Bus Stops?

Bear with me. Now maybe I'm overly critical on this one. As a Brit, I come from the home of lines (or queues as we like to call them). Furthermore, it is seen as one of the great crimes of British society to cut in line. Worse than murder some say [disclaimer: this is not true]

But some of the recent attempts at forming a line that I have been witness to in NYC have been just pathetic. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it's not even the thought of careless people most of the time. It's design problems. Shops are guilty of trying to force people to buy stuff even as they wait in line. This causes congestion and people wandering in and out of lines to grab stuff they can't find anywhere else (I had to do this to grab Chocolate Pretzels at a Whole Foods recently). Thus the integrity of lines are compromised.

Also, subway stations. Oh dear God subway stations. Some of these suck. A harder problem to resolve due to their location and age. I'm guessing when they were built, such a large number of people weren't envisaged to be crowding the platform. This is a similar problem in London. Although at least there, there seems to be an effort to modernize, causing a hit to my wallet admittedly.

But design an area for forming a line well, or simply don't clutter it with stuff, and I'm confident there would be far less line related problems. Look at bus stops. They're just an open area to stand in. I never see problems at bus stops.

Isn't A Special Section Going A Bit Far?

Well, if I thought Obama-mania in the UK was a bit much before, it's now gone through the roof.

The BBC News website actually has a devoted "Obama Presidency" section. Isn't that insane? Expectations are rather high evidently. Hopefully those particularly liberal individuals out there won't be too annoyed when President Obama starts making decisions from the center.

Which is the smart way about going about it in my opinion. The U.S. is essentially a country divided in half between their two parties and if you want change, it has to be relatively slowly.

Sure, having control of both houses of Congress and the White House, you could probably push through your own agenda, but you'll alienate many. Then, when ousted from power, change can be rolled back.

The center is the way to go. Or maybe slightly to the left...

Why Does It Have To Be So Dark So Early?

I hate it when the clocks go back. It's half past 4 and it's almost completely dark. It's depressing!

At college it was kinda fun. I think during winter in college I was lucky to see the sun for an hour a day. But it's not fun anymore.

As an evening person (as opposed to those weird morning people that I can't understand) the winter sucks. I'm fine with cold weather, although the rain in England can take it a bit far at times, but too much darkness is just maddening.

We need to do something as a planet to combat this. Perhaps the installation of a 2nd sun? Maybe I'll just move nearer the equator, but then I'll just complain that it's too hot.

Have I Watched Too Many Movies?

I have come to the conclusion that there must be an alien attack coming our way. Or maybe a huge-ass asteroid is gonna wipe us out. Because why else would anybody need thousands of nuclear devices?

An actual nuclear war is not winnable - everybody loses and everybody has known that for a while (M.A.D.) so there won't be one. So the only reason you might need one is to destroy the occasional nut-job with a death wish.

So why bother with the huge arsenals? Aliens, that's why.

Election Madness?

Today is insane. Absolutely amazing.

I have never seen anything like this kind of energy and enthusiasm for politics. It's difficult to get interested in British politics, let alone excited and this is almost a completely different sport.

I think the motivation of the electorate can only be a good thing, although I can't help thinking the "Founding Fathers" are turning in their respective graves, what with Article One of the Constitution being about the legislative branch, not the executive.

But it's not only Americans that are excited by this election. European's are obsessed with it, and far be it for me to speak for the whole world, but it seems like the entire globe is watching.

Let's hope for a conclusion without controversy.

Is There Anything More Annoying Than An Umbrella?

Why oh why is it so difficult to control an umbrella? Honestly people, spatial awareness is something that I've witnessed in a one-eyed kitten!

I've been baffled by this worldwide incompetence for years. All you need to do is make sure you don't hit the people coming towards you, surely? Then there's people who try and use one in hurricane force winds. It ain't gonna work!

Then there's the classic people that stand on subway steps putting their umbrella up or down whilst an increasingly annoyed crowd of people accumulates behind them.

Umbrella's are extremely flawed pieces of equipment, sometimes it's better just to get wet.