Halloween - Should I Be Afraid?

Let me first point out that it's not because I'm scared of ghosts and ghouls. Although I must admit to intensely disliking clowns. It's more the fear of being overwhelmed by crowds of mad people high as a kite on sugar and/or booze.

America does Halloween different to anywhere else I've ever been. It's HUGE here. Just walking past costume stores yesterday with lines to get in the store before selecting a costume and then joining another lengthy line to purchase the thing. Craziness.

And there have been specials on candy and chocolate for at least a month in almost every pharmacy I've been in. Which in itself is weird, although not as weird as the fact that they sell cigarettes, surely?

Anyway, as I head out to prepare for a (hopefully) relatively relaxed October 31st, the question I ask is: should I be afraid?

Can Nobody Just Sell A Couch Without Hidden Costs?

I can understand if you want to charge a delivery fee for a couch. Totally. But isn't there anybody out there who doesn't hide it until after you've already arranged for the bloody thing to arrive?

Seriously, you set up a date for it to come and then a day later get told about extra costs? No. You know what, you can f*** right off. I'd prefer to balance my ass on a Swiss exercise ball thing thanks.

If you want to charge, just say so before putting people through the hassle you scumbags.

Is America About To Elect JFK II?

This is not entirely a compliment to Senator Obama.

JFK has the reputation as an absolute legend, granted, but in terms of actual accomplishments, he wasn't so hot. Now you can talk about "what he would of done if he wasn't assassinated" or his laudable intentions until the cow comes home, but the fact of the matter is, he didn't do as much as his enormous reputation would suggest.

Hell, if it came down to intentions, LBJ would be right up there, but we know how that turned out.

Senator Obama and President Kennedy share a huge talent as orators also. The 30 minute campaign show tonight certainly highlighted the Senator's abilities in that department. But the hard part is living up to promises, and a failure here could be catastrophic to America. Both literally, in terms of the economy especially, and in a particular blow to those in the electorate who are new to believing in politics, because they may not again. Ever.

So I would hope that America is not about to elect JFK II, because it needs something better.

Of course, this all assumes that Senator McCain doesn't "do a Truman" and bring it back from the brink...

Is It Wrong To Post, When It's Not A Complaint?

Hooray! New wine shop in town!

It's run by a hilarious Russian family, who are very nice and without any trace of arrogance. The wine even came with a free Russian chocolate!

Hooray!

Does Anyone Answer The Phone When They Don't Recognize The Number Anymore?

I usually ignore calls from numbers I don't know, because I'm anti-social and if it's important, they'll leave a message. But it seems to me recently that the number of calls from God knows who has drastically increased.

The last three hailing from Columbus - NE, Fort Worth - TX and Tucson - AZ.

So I Googled the numbers and apparently they're all scam type things. Is this a recent development to the world or just me?

I actually used to enjoy wrong numbers back in the day. My favorite of all time was the morning I got 3 phone calls from a woman in Slovakia. But now it appears hilarity has been usurped by dirty gits trying to get cash.

Freedom Of Speech Is Fine, But Sometimes, Isn't A Whisper Enough?

OK, you're preaching on a rush hour subway train. I'm fine with that. Even if the things you say don't fit with my ideas, I respect you have the right to say them, even if it is distracting me from my zombie book.

But come on, there must be more efficient methods of gaining converts. People at rush hour [myself included] are probably at their least tolerant and least likely to listen to what you have to say, especially if they haven't finished their first coffee of the day. And when you've only got one point, repeating it for 10 minutes isn't gonna win you too many followers.

Protesting - also fine. Please protest if you feel your rights are being impugned, but if you're gonna use whistles to grab people's attention, what part of your brain thinks that waiting until they are right next to you before blowing it in their ears is gonna make them sympathize with you and help fight your cause?

If you have principles and are brave enough to stand up and fight for them, then more power to you. But remember you also have the right to think.

In The Event Of Nuclear War, Is There Anywhere Safer Than Brooklyn?

I've been to a fair few places in the U.S. now and have occasionally noticed a fall-out shelter or two. Particularly in urban areas, for good reason. But wow, Brooklyn must be the founder, spiritual home and capital city of fall-out shelters, because there are more of them here than there are places to post mail.

I can think of 6, within a 5 minute walk from where I'm currently sitting and it's not like I've done a substantial check for them either. Maybe I should, a map of fall-out shelters; you never know when it's gonna come in useful.

Having grown up outside the U.S., and during the very end of the Cold War, I must admit to being fairly ignorant on the places. Do you hear a siren and just go and hide? If it became crowded, would I, as a foreigner be booted out into an inhospitable wasteland (no offense Brooklyn)? Back in the day, were they well maintained and supplied?

All interesting questions. But most importantly: In the event of nuclear war, is there anywhere safer than Brooklyn?

Why Make Voting MORE Complicated?

Is it not enough trying to make a decision between politicians by sifting through what they say is true and what's not (see Fact Checkers?! Really!?) without then bamboozling the electorate with random methods of voting?

Plan A: Names on paper, mark the ones you wanna vote for. Easy.

OR

Plan B: Have numerous different systems of voting, some of which require a manual. Huh?

I understand the reasoning, the USA is a big country, so modernization or computerization makes the counting process faster and, theoretically at least, more accurate. And I get that the Constitution gives States the right to use their own system. Then there's the whole voting for a hundred different things at the same time thing.

But come on. Surely a pen and paper(s), a large number of booths and boxes with holes in, and people that are both numerate and literate to count the blasted things would prevent a whole lot of confusion.

Anyway, as the saying goes; "Vote early, vote often"

Fact Checkers!? Really!?

I might be a touch late on this one, but surely the existence of "Fact Checkers" after a televised debate between candidates running to be President of a country is openly admitting the fact that they are lying to the people they want to lead whenever they damn well please?

Voter: "Sure, I'll vote for you you cheeky scamp, as long as you stop that whole lying thing when you get in power."

Presidential Candidate: "Of course I will."

Fact Checker: "Actually, I think the candidate misspoke there. What he actually meant to say was 'Of course I won't', but, under the pressure of a televised debate, you can understand such a blip."

Hu-wuh?

Is Knowledge Of Wine Directly Proportional To Arrogance?

People that work in wine stores. What's the deal there?

There seem to be 2 prevalent types of wine store employee. The first is the one that doesn't know anything, but assists as well as they can, but only if asked. The second is knowledgeable, forceful in assisting and arrogant as hell.

Speaking as a former wine shop employee (6 months of part-time hell) I very much fit into the first category. I STILL know nothing about wine. If someone got confused I would point out the system in place (1-4 scales of dryness for example) in an attempt at help. I would stoically refuse to push the wines I was told to, in my own small way of "sticking it to the man".

But the employee that forces their opinion onto you and demands your wine drinking history with an air of arrogance, is perhaps one of the most annoying things in the retail industry. Kudos to the individual who recently lost his shop 2 potentially regular customers, through inexplicable rudeness. I wonder why that shop always seems empty...

Given the choice I would prefer poorer wine from a dubiously named shop full of incompetents thank you very much.

How Do Kitties Know?

If there's one thing in the room that the Kitty shouldn't play with, she'll find it, and play with it.

If there's a single breakable item, in a warehouse of unbreakable stuff, she'll find it, and break it.

If there's one glass of water within reach along with a thousand toys, she'll head straight for that water and spill it.

If you're sad, she'll love you, if you're happy, she'll play with you and if you're tired, she'll nap with you.

How do Kitties know?